Great Day Houston Rodeo Fashionista!

In case you (somehow) missed it: I was one of five lovely models on Friday morning’s “Great Day Houston” showing off some fun Rodeo-inspired “western wear” options from amazing Houston-based stores Emerson Rose, Jubilee, and Erica DelGardo Jewelry Designs!

Indeed it was!

Indeed it was!

I woke up insanely early and met up with my fellow models at Jubilee to get ready! (They were even kind enough to provide donuts and kolaches!) So, at least I didn’t have to get up and immediately look great, there was time to get adequately gussied up. Then we carpooled to the Channel 11 studio, and headed into the Green Room!

Just chillin' in the Green Room for a moment.

Just chillin’ in the Green Room for a moment.

Since our segment was in the middle of the show, we were ushered upstairs, where we chatted and practiced our catwalks.

Since our segment was in the middle of the show, we were ushered upstairs, where we chatted and practiced our super hot catwalk strides.

The set was done up to look like a snazzy hoedown, and we (the models) basically lined up on one side so as to emerge front and center on cue!

See?! That's my "sexy cowgirl" walk!

See?! That’s my “sexy cowgirl” walk!

My look was described as "date night" or "romantic rodeo" because it involved that super awesome lacy dress!

My look was described as “Cowboy Sweetheart” or “romantic rodeo” because it involved that super awesome lacy dress!

Also I had some GORGEOUS jewelry to show off!

Also I had some GORGEOUS Erica DelGardo silver and turquoise jewelry to show off!

Plus that super cool purse!

Plus that super cool purse!

As you can probably tell, I had some fun with this.

Here's a shot from backstage! It really shows off the "behind the scenes" aspect!

Here’s a shot from backstage! It really shows off the “behind the scenes” aspect!

I had so much fun modeling these lovely clothes, and promoting some local shops! Everyone was amazingly kind, helpful, supportive, and my fellow models were/are all fabulous!

Don't we all look so great?! Deborah was also rockin' the suede fringe, and super hot boots!

Don’t we all look so great?! Deborah Duncan was also rockin’ the suede fringe, and super hot boots!

Check out the clip to see all these fab looks in action! I’m model #4, but each of these ladies looks is adorable, and seriously perfect for the Rodeo! (Pro Tip: DO NOT go into the Petting Zoo wearing fringe. You think it’s just the goats you’ve got to worry about, but they all want a yummy piece of that.) If you are looking for some Rodeo Houston inspiration, accessories, boots, or any beautiful items, hit up 19th Street ASAP because the fun officially starts tomorrow!

Are you going to the Rodeo this year? Do you know what you’re gonna wear?? Do you have a favorite/collection of a specific “Western wear” item(s)?

I Saw Bigfoot!

At least, I saw A Bigfoot. It was on display last night, courtesy of dedicated showman/Bigfoot murderer Rick Dyer, at the Alamo Drafthouse, at a sold out event that included a delightfully insane episode of the Six Million Dollar Man, and viewings of the beast!

Here's Hank! One of two "Bigfeet" killed by cowboy hat enthusiast and blatant opportunist Rick Dyer.

Here’s Hank! One of two “Bigfeet” killed by cowboy hat enthusiast and blatant opportunist Rick Dyer.

Obviously, this was a media-worthy event, and somehow I was featured on the Channel 2 Houston news coverage! Check it out!

While this has little to do (directly) with fashion and/or design, I was wearing a super cool skull scarf my friend Alicia made, AND there were some amazing Bigfoot themed shirts being sold last night. It was a night of silly scenarios, ridiculous Q&As, and suspended belief. WORTH IT!

Re-purposing A China Cabinet for Jewelry Display!

Happy Friday!!!

Let's get this sexy weekend started!

Let’s get this sexy weekend started!

Among my many crafty projects is one I’ve recently undertaken to become more efficient, as well as more fabulous! I re-purposed my grandmother’s China cabinet from its latest incarnation (basically a liquor cabinet, sorry MeeMaw), into a lovely display case for (most of) my jewelry, and some other pretty things!

Here she stands, with as much excess removed as possible, ready to be transformed!

Here she stands, with as much excess removed as possible, ready to be transformed! (Ovbs, this was taken closer to Halloween, since my vultures and display legs are hanging out.)

My maternal grandmother sort of started this family trend, by having an outrageous collection of jewelry built up over the years due to a preference for shiny things, and extensive world travels. Hers is truly glorious, and the cabinet is a sublime slice of the ’70s. It sits in a corner of her master suit/”love oasis” of a shared bathing area. Seriously, the secret to being happily married for 60+ years is an enormous, turquoise bathtub.

Pretty great, right?? They've had to move downstairs, plus Christmas, so things are a little hectic.

Pretty great, right?? They’ve had to move downstairs, plus Christmas, so things are a little hectic, but you can tell how sizeable this cabinet is.

See?? They built their custom house in 1973, and two separate vanities, two closets and an enormous bathtub is what they decided. LOVE this. It was super fun as a kid, too!

See?? They built their custom house in 1973, and two separate vanities, two closets, and an enormous bathtub is what they decided. Brilliant! (The shower curtain is a recent development.) I LOVE this. It was super fun as a kid, too!

Now my mother also has a jewelry cabinet, as do at least two of my cousins! So, with the limited space I have, and the diminished necessity of displaying pint glasses, I decided I would make one, too! I have documented my process, which may or may not help those of you out there who’ve outgrown your jewelry boxes, and are looking for a way to exhibit your ever-expanding jewelry collection. This would be a great display for any small to medium-sized collection, really. It is also a super effective way to utilize inherited furniture!

I started by measuring the width and height of the bottom two shelves. I wanted to cover the base and back of each one, so I also measured depth.

I started by measuring the width and height of the bottom two shelves. (Measure everything! They were slightly different.) I wanted to cover the base and back of each one, so I also measured the depth.

I have some lovely red satin fabric, and since it looks so nice with the dark wood (plus I had enough of it), I decided to use it to cover the heavy paper I “borrowed” from my brother (he’s an architecture student). Since the shelves in my China cabinet cannot be removed, I had to come up with a way to insert these covers, in order to protect the wood and also aid in the display process (hanging necklaces or pinning brooches, for example).  The simplest way to do that was to find a material that was sturdy, but flexible, and this thick paper (heavier than card stock, but thinner than cardboard) was ideal, at least for the bottom of the shelves. I cut the paper into two strips that would fit onto the base/bottom of each shelf, cut two pieces of fabric at least 3″ wider/longer than the paper, then simply folded the fabric over and hot glued the edges down to the back of the paper.

Unique Item - Pants stretchers! (Living with a hoarder can be really handy sometimes.)

Unique Item – Vintage pants stretchers! (Living with a hoarder can be really handy sometimes.)

For the back of the shelves, I needed something even more flexible to be able to fit into the small, one door opening, and stronger to actually hold the weight of the jewelry. Mom to the rescue! She managed to round up (in, like, 10 minutes) two vintage pant stretchers! Random, I know, but completely perfect for this particular project. They extend (height-wise, for my purposes), were the just the right width, and are bendy enough to get through the opening without too much trouble. I wish I had pictures of that process, but it involved both of my hands, one of my legs, and some effort with my chin. (Worth it!)

I basically created a lined sleeve to slip the pants extenders into, using the measurements of the shelves height and width.

I basically created a lined sleeve to slip the pants extenders into, using the measurements of the shelves’ height and width. Making them longer than necessary, I left the ends open and simply folded them back for a clean edge once they were in place inside the cabinet.

Here's the view of the inside of the sleeve before I slid in the pants extender.

Here’s the view of the inside of the sleeve, after turning, but before I slid in the pants extender. THAT took some doing. It was a snug fit, but that is exactly what I needed for extra support.

Close up of the lined shelves!

Close up of the lined shelves! The red makes everything pop so nicely!

I decided to keep some of my non-jewelry things in the cabinet, partially because I currently have an effective storage space for my necklaces, so I didn’t need to, and partially because they’re just so pretty! It was either this or a box, and I thought incorporation would be better. Adding loveliness and variation is always a good decision!

See all my earrings, drops, and bracelets!? Me too! Now I won't forget I have them!

See all my earrings, drops, fancy headbands, giant rings, and bracelets!? Me too! Now I won’t forget I have them!

Another organization hack out of Sylvia’s playbook, I used one of those tins that Valentine’s candies come in to organize my non-hook earrings! Since I love vintage stuff, I have lots of screw-on, clip on, and stud earrings that I wasn’t able to display, but now I can easily see them (plus they’re color-coded!), and I definitely wear them more often! I used my milk glass compote to hold my bracelets, and have my fancy headbands and hat pin in a well-deserved place of prominence!

The "finished" product!

The “finished” product! So lovely!

This is still a project in progress. I would like to add my brooches, a couple of smaller frames with wire for the hook earrings, and display some of my more ornate necklaces, but putting it together was extremely fulfilling and I wanted to share! Although I know some people do not have the space, or the jewelry collection, to display like this, being able to view the gorgeous things I already own makes me feel grateful and fortunate every day. Any prized collection should be seen and appreciated daily, if possible, otherwise these lovely items get forgotten so easily, only to become under-utilized and under-valued. Don’t let this happen to you! Proudly display your beautiful and/or unique things, and let them be an encouraging reminder of how incredible you are for having such awesome taste!

How do you display your jewelry? Any great organizational tips to share?? Do you have lots more of any particular item (necklaces, rings, brooches, etc.)? Do you have another prized collection on display in your home? Please share!

Let’s All Appreciate Quilting!

Several weeks ago (right before the madness of Halloween), I attended Houston’s International Quilt Festival. It is an event I have been familiar with my whole life, partially because of my mother (she owns a “quilt cabinet”), and partially because we are just a nice, Southern family and so we have about a million quilts, give or take. When I moved to Denton (briefly, for my MLS), I discovered that I already owned at least half a dozen quilts, and even more if you count knitted afghans! Although we were never in short supply at my house, or my grandmothers’ houses, I always thought quilts were meant to be gradually acquired over a lifetime, but since I am starting out with half a dozen, I figured by the time I was old EVERYTHING would be covered in quilts. (I imagined a sort of quilt-camouflage home, filled with cats and creepy pillows.)

I couldn't fit all my other things into an RV, but apparently my vision is too horrible to exist on the internet (or the old women who live in such environs don't have cameras).

I couldn’t fit all my other things into an RV, but apparently my vision is too horrible to exist on the Internet, or the old women who live in such environs don’t own cameras.

Horror-dreams of bad taste aside, quilts are actually incredible. Seriously, even the awful, tacky, weird ones are amazing pieces of art/effort/construction/time/dedication. I mean, not the mass-produced, machine-made ones, just specifically the quilts actually created by living people. A grand collection of such quilts are on display annually at QuiltFest, on the side of the GRB that isn’t overwhelmed with ALL THE THINGS to purchase (and electric wheelchairs).

"Septem Peccata Mortalia (Seven Deadly Sins)" by Christine Alexiou is winner of the $7,500 World of Beauty Award at the 2013 International Quilt Festival Houston

“Septem Peccata Mortalia (Seven Deadly Sins)” by Christine Alexiou is winner of the $7,500 World of Beauty Award at the 2013 International Quilt Festival Houston

"Photographer Darling" by Noriko Nozawa is winner of the $5,000 Fairfield Master Award for Contemporary Artistry at the 2013 International Quilt Festival Houston

“Photographer Darling” by Noriko Nozawa is winner of the $5,000 Fairfield Master Award for Contemporary Artistry at the 2013 International Quilt Festival Houston

"A Letter Bit of Baaltimore" by Janet Stone is winner of the $7,500 Founders Award at the 2013 International Quilt Festival Houston

“A Letter Bit of Baaltimore” by Janet Stone is winner of the $7,500 Founders Award at the 2013 International Quilt Festival Houston

The whole event can become incredibly overwhelming, given the sheer volume of possible purchases (I bought so many amazing things!), but if you’re looking to be overwhelmed by art, creativity and worksladyship, the actual quilts are definitely worth a gander. They come from all over the world, include so many different details, perspectives and techniques, and are basically glorious pieces of textile/fabric art.

"Chihuly's Gondola" by Melissa Sobotka is winner of the Handi Quilter Best of Show Award, the $10,000 top prize at the 2013 International Quilt Festival Houston

“Chihuly’s Gondola” by Melissa Sobotka is winner of the Handi Quilter Best of Show Award, the $10,000 top prize at the 2013 International Quilt Festival Houston

Melissa Sobotka looks so proud!

Melissa Sobotka looks so proud!

According to this article, the National Museum of Women in the Arts, is opening a quilt exhibit (December 20th-April 27th) in order to showcase 18th-20th century quilts from the Brooklyn Museum’s decorative arts collection. “Workt by Hand” will offer a glimpse of “classic” quilting patterns/styles, while simultaneously emphasizing the amazing women who have, for centuries, honed this skill into a true art form.

Mary A. Stinson (American), Crazy Quilt, circa 1880, Silk, 81 ¼ x 81 ⅝ in. (206.4 x 207.3 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Designated Purchase Fund, 1995.87, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Mary A. Stinson (American), Crazy Quilt, circa 1880, Silk, 81 ¼ x 81 ⅝ in. (206.4 x 207.3 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Designated Purchase Fund, 1995.87, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Mary A. Stinson (American), Crazy Quilt, circa 1880, Silk, 81 ¼ x 81 ⅝ in. (206.4 x 207.3 cm) Brooklyn Museum, Designated Purchase Fund, 1995.87, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Mary A. Stinson (American), Crazy Quilt, circa 1880, Silk, 81 ¼ x 81 ⅝ in. (206.4 x 207.3 cm) Brooklyn Museum, Designated Purchase Fund, 1995.87, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Elizabeth Welsh (American), Medallion Quilt, circa 1830, Cotton, 110 ½ x 109 in. (280.7 x 267.8 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of The Roebling Society, 78.36, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Elizabeth Welsh (American), Medallion Quilt, circa 1830, Cotton, 110 ½ x 109 in. (280.7 x 267.8 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of The Roebling Society, 78.36, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Pictorial Quilt circa 1840, Cotton, cotton thread, 67 ¾ x 85 ½ in. (172.1 x 217.2  cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Mrs. Franklin Chace, 44.173.1, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Pictorial Quilt circa 1840, Cotton, cotton thread, 67 ¾ x 85 ½ in. (172.1 x 217.2
cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Mrs. Franklin Chace, 44.173.1, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Star of Bethlehem Quilt, circa 1830, Cotton, 95 x 95 ½ in. (241.3 x 242.6 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Alice Bauer Frankenberg, 59.151.7, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Star of Bethlehem Quilt, circa 1830, Cotton, 95 x 95 ½ in. (241.3 x 242.6 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Alice Bauer Frankenberg, 59.151.7, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Victoria Royall Broadhead (American), Tumbling Blocks Quilt, circa 1865–70, Silk, velvet, wool, 64 x 68 in. (162.6 x 72.7 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Mrs. Richard Draper, 53.59.1, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Victoria Royall Broadhead (American), Tumbling Blocks Quilt, circa 1865–70, Silk, velvet, wool, 64 x 68 in. (162.6 x 72.7 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Mrs. Richard Draper, 53.59.1, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Whole-Cloth Quilt, circa 1830s, Cotton toile, 70 x 85 in. (177.8 x 215.9 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Margaret S. Bedell, 28.111, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

Whole-Cloth Quilt, circa 1830s, Cotton toile, 70 x 85 in. (177.8 x 215.9 cm), Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Margaret S. Bedell, 28.111, Brooklyn Museum photograph (Gavin Ashworth, photographer), 2012

I was fortunate enough, on my second visit to Washington, D.C., to spend some time in the NMWA, and had an absolutely delightful experience! I love museums (most of them anyway), but had never really contemplated how much of that art has been created by/through the “male gaze,” and to view an entire museum collection consisting of artwork created by my female counterparts felt incredible, and comforting. The art spans time periods, artistic styles, mediums, and cultures, plus the architecture and presentation are fabulous! If you have the opportunity, you should absolutely pay them a visit!

More about quilts to come soon, so look forward to it!

Have you made a quilt? What pattern/style did you use? Have you been to the Quilt Festival? Any specific memories/quilts/purchases??

Throwback Thursday – Graceland!

A rowdy hoozah for the latter half of the week! In honor of this, a Thursday, and the fact that I’m actually wearing the dress in question right now, a #TBT tribute to that awesome time I went to visit Graceland with two other amazing ladies!

Katie and Kate drove me all the way to Memphis in 2009!

Katie and Kate drove me all the way to Memphis in 2009! They’re seriously the best.

I have this minor obsession with Elvis Presley. So much so, that I convinced two of my good friends to road trip with me from Ft. Worth to Memphis over a period of several days/nights, in order to visit his outrageous house-museum, Graceland!

SOOPER excited!

SOOPER excited!

You see what I mean by minor?

You see what I mean by minor?

As you may be able to see from the above photographs, I totally wore a hot pink and white dress with ELVIS FACES all over it!!! My mother actually made it for me (the worksladyship is gorgeous), and added pink velvet trim to the sleeves and neckline. It has held up so nicely, and is so completely adorable, I’m actually wearing it at work today (not for the first, or the last time, either), and have gotten several compliments.

I can stop whenever I want to! (But I don't!) Yes, I'm holding the cardboard cutout's hand.

I can stop whenever I want to! (But I don’t!) Yes, I’m holding the cardboard cutout’s hand.

You’re not allowed to take flash photographs of the inside of Elvis’ former home, however, we did walk through it in a haze of disbelief and awe. It is truly a glorious slice of vintage, over the top style.  We also saw his automobile collection, stables, former office, and INCREDIBLE displays of his costumes and jumpsuits.

We saw all the exhibits!

We saw all the exhibits!

I know the “novelty print” dress is trending lately, and has been for a while, as far as I’m concerned! It is such a fun, easy way to add flair and personality to a simple design! This dress is a solidly ’60s, shift dress design that’s comfortable, flattering, and a straightforward pattern for almost any sewer. As you can see, my dress, like the King, is timeless and super sexy! You should make one, too! And go to Graceland, it’s a blast!

Have you been to Graceland? Memphis?? Have you ever made a 60s shift dress? How did it turn out? Would you make a dress out of a “novelty print”? Have you already? What’s on the fabric? (Dinosaurs? Kittens? Hot Dogs??)

Random Fun Wednesday!

Since I’m merely a human being, and (thankfully) not a Superlady who is obligated to do all the things at all the times, I’m offering a muddled collection of random things I am thinking about/interested in today for your viewing pleasure.

First off, Houston has re-elected our gay, liberal Mayor (yay!), but also voted down the last ditch effort to preserve a piece of our city’s history: The Astrodome. Since our track record for preservation is pretty terrible, it isn’t so much shocking, as it is deeply disappointing to those who want to hold on to the unique icons that separate our Southern city from all others. What we’re left with are: Space Center Houston, the Zoo, and the Menil. Not to disparage any of these fine institutions, but most places have zoos, various museums and the occasional locally-tied government agency info-tainment space.

Learning about space exploration is super cool! Then what?

Learning about space exploration is super cool!

As the fourth-largest city in the United States, I would hope that Houston could offer some truly amazing places, sights, tourist attractions and community spaces. Instead of capitalizing on this possibility, developers have torn down AstroWorld, imploded the historic Foley’s building, and will now rip down what was once known as the “8th Wonder of the World.” Regardless of whether or not it ever was, or could be again, I would rather live in a place inhabited by people who want to preserve, reuse and re-purpose significant architectural marvels, instead of spending millions of dollars tearing them down only to replace them with hyper-expensive monoliths, parking lots, or ultimately, nothing special.

That looks pretty unique and amazing! Now it's an empty field.

That looks pretty unique and amazing! Now it’s an empty field.

Next up, something really special! After forty years, Vogue’s first transgender model is getting the celebration she deserves! April Ashley, a gorgeous, lauded model in the early 1960s, who was “outed,” and her career cut short; however the Museum of Liverpool (according to BUST), is featuring her work, life and struggles in an exhibit called April Ashley: Portrait of a Lady” this year!

Photograph by Ken Walker. Courtesy of April Ashley

Completely gorgeous!

Since even androgynous models are still causing regular stirs today, this is an amazing step forward. Recognition of a person’s work, efforts, and beauty should never be diminished because of their personal decisions about their own physical identities.

RuPaul is not a transsexual, but is completely FABULOUS!

Speaking of androgyny! David Bowie! Let’s pay a brief homage to one of the most amazing glam rockers out there!

Best thing EVER IN THE WORLD.

Best thing EVER IN THE WORLD.

Glam-patch!

Glam-patch!

Thrust that hip, you striped, naughty alien man!

Thrust that hip, you striped, naughty alien man!

Love this SUIT!

Love this SUIT!

So, we will almost certainly re-visit Sir Bowie’s legendary fashion escapades, but my friend sent me the above link and I was momentarily overtaken by the bright colors and totally outlandish shapes.  In the meantime, I hope this offers some entertainment, and maybe some learnin’ for your Wednesday!

What do you think about the Astrodome’s impending destruction? Do you miss AstroWorld? Any particularly good memories made at either venue? Anyone near Liverpool to go see the April Ashley exhibit??

Behold! The Miss Universe 2013 National Costume Show!

Somehow I have not been aware, until now, about this particular part of the “Miss Universe” pageant. The INSANE costume exhibition/fashion show/cultural miasma that leads up to the actual pageant involves “tradition-inspired” costumes from each contestant. AND THEY ARE RIDICULOUS-MAZING!

Miss Angola - Vaumara Rebelo

Miss White Feather Cocoon and Matching Heel-Spats – Vaumara Rebelo (Angola)

Miss Argentina - Brenda González

Miss Took ALL the White Feathers (She’s not even sorry.) – Brenda González (Argentina)

Miss Belgium - Noémie Happart

Miss Will Totally Sexy Murder You – Noémie Happart (Belgium)

Miss Botswana - Tsaone Macheng

Miss Pre-Makeover Hunger Games Contestant – Tsaone Macheng (Botswana)

Miss Curacao - Eline de Pool

Miss Dr. Seuss – Eline de Pool (Curacao)

Miss Guyana - Katherina Roshana

Miss Please Associate Us with Anything Other Than Jonestown – Katherina Roshana (Guyana)

Miss Malaysia - Carey Ng

Miss Citizen of the Matrix – Carey Ng (Malaysia)

Miss Mexico - Cynthia Duque

Miss Sexy Latin VooDoo – Cynthia Duque (Mexico)

Miss Netherlands - Stephanie Tency

Miss Cityscape Peacock – Stephanie Tency (Netherlands)

Miss Nicaragua - Nastassja Bolívar

Miss Peacock Serial Killer – Nastassja Bolívar (Nicaragua)

Miss Nigeria - Stephanie Okwu

Miss These Used to Be Baskets! – Stephanie Okwu (Nigeria)

Miss Russia - Elmira Abdrazakova

Miss This Is How I Envision Everyone in Russia (except the peasants and the prostitutes) – Elmira Abdrazakova (Russia)

Miss Singapore - Shi Lim

Miss Grape Cape – Shi Lim (Singapore)

Miss Spain - Patricia Rodríguez

Miss Gets Caught on Everything – Patricia Rodríguez (Spain)

Miss Sweden - Alexandra Friberg

Miss Mixing Metals – Alexandra Friberg (Sweden)

Miss Trinidad and Tobago - Catherine Miller

Miss Vegas Showgirl – Catherine Miller (Trinidad & Tobago)

Miss Venezuela - María Gabriela Isler

Miss Hot Mess Cowgirl – María Gabriela Isler (Venezuela)

Miss Hyper-Patriotic Automaton - Erin Brady (U-S-A!)

Miss Hyper-Patriotic Automaton – Erin Brady (U-S-A!)

These aren’t even all of them, y’all! This is a small, delightful smattering of the outrageous things some (beautiful) women are willing to wear in public in order to garner the title “Miss Universe.” The only presentation of outfits equal in sequins and madness that I have seen IRL were at the 2012 Tyler Rose Festival. My extremely well-qualified cousin was in charge of the theme (Indochine), and helped the girls select their “country of origin,” gown designs, and organized the entire coronation ceremony! We attended, obvs, and got pictures/objectified the participants at the “Queen’s Tea” the following morning.

Bengal Tiger! Grr!

Bengal Tiger! Grr!

Foo Dog (Funny name, serious headdress.)

Foo Dog (Funny name, serious headdress.)

Thousand Hands! They were attached to her arms, so they were functional!

Thousand Hands! They were attached to her arms, so they were functional!

New Year's Dragon! AMAZING!!!!

New Year’s Dragon! AMAZING!!!!

Panda! (Hahaha.)

Panda! (Hahaha.)

Cherry Blossom!

Cherry Blossom!

The back is gorgeous.

The back is gorgeous.

THE PHOENIX!!!

THE PHOENIX!!!

My personal favorite, and clearly the coolest chick there.

My personal favorite, and clearly the coolest chick there.

THE BACK IS SO GREAT!

THE BACK IS SO GREAT! It’s like if David Bowie and Dr. Seuss gave birth to a Volcano goddess, and then she designed a dress!

If you make it to the Tyler Rose Festival one day, try to visit their Rose Fest Museum, where you can see official photographs of past Queens, vintage dresses, and some of the fabulous gowns up close!

I'm not going to lie. I think these are fabulous.

I’m not going to lie. I think these are fabulous.

I'm pretty sure they used all the fabric 1952 had to offer.

I’m pretty sure they used all the fabric 1954 had to offer.

All of this is to say, I can absolutely appreciate the gorgeous craftsmanship that has gone into making these wardrobian-creations, but the fact that they are: outrageously expensive, silly, impractical, and you rarely see dudes strutting about in these fashion face-off type situations.

See? He ripped that shirt right off! If they caught fire, 95% of the above women would either die, or be melted into that outfit FOREVER.

The Miss Universe Pageant 2013 will be held THIS SATURDAY in Moscow! (So, if you’re a masochist with a penchant for the dramatic, tune in!) Snotty judgement aside, regardless of the reason anyone wears a fancy costume, I say go for it! Especially since it gives the rest of us something to stare at while wearing our snuggly, soft pajim-jams.

Have you participated in a pageant?? Do you wear non-Halloween costumes on any regular basis? Which is your favorite (Miss Universe AND Tyler Rose Fest) and why?